


Song-Inspired Drabbles

by WinJennster



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-28
Updated: 2013-05-28
Packaged: 2017-12-13 06:47:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/821285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinJennster/pseuds/WinJennster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A handful of shorties I wrote based on songs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unforgiven

_They dedicate their lives_

_To running all of his_

_He tries to please them all_

_This bitter man he is_

_Throughout his life the same_

_He's battled constantly_

_This fight he cannot win_

Dean floored the Impala, wincing inwardly as the engine screamed in protest. He hated torturing his baby, but he had to get away. Far enough where Dad and Sam couldn't find him. They were always so busy screaming at each other, they probably wouldn't notice he was even gone.

Frustration sank its claws into him, making the muscles in his back and shoulders tense with the strain. Sam wanted him to be one person, Dad another. The knock down drag out fights that started about college and normality always managed to become an exhibition of all the ways Dad had fucked Dean up, Sam cruelly pointing out flaws in Dean's personality to prove the point of why he intended to leave. He made Dean the example of what normality wasn't.

Sam couldn't see how his words broke Dean a little more each and every time. He couldn't see that he was killing his brother.

And Dad? Suck it up soldier. Man up. Look after Sammy.

How long did they think Dean would be able to stand there and tolerate the abuse they didn't even realize they were showering on him?

So he did the one thing they were going to do to him. He ran.

And when there was no more road, and he ended up on some beach in South Carolina, he sat in the Impala and cried.

Cried until there was nothing left, turning himself inside out with agony of it all.

Afterwards, he stripped down to his boxers and took a long, long swim in the cold ocean.

This fight, the one Sam was determined to fight? Dean had no place in it. Sam was going to leave. Sam would strike out on his own, do as he pleased, seek the normality he so desperately needed.

Dad would leave next. He wouldn't be able to stand to look at his eldest once his youngest was no longer around.

They'd both leave him behind, and neither one of them would think twice. Neither one of them would realize that in running away, they just found another way to control him.

This was a fight Dean would never win, and he felt exhausted at the thought of it.

He wondered if they would mourn if he just disappeared, let the ocean carry him away until he was too weak to stay afloat anymore.

But that felt too much like giving up, so he pulled himself out of the water.

Pulling his clothes back on over his damp skin, he shivered for moment in the chilly March breeze. He didn't need to be a psychic to see where this was going to go.

Pulling the Impala back on the road, and pointing her west towards Sam and Dad, Dean felt the heaviness of hopelessness and exhaustion settle in for the long haul.

He'd go back. He had to. Time was limited, and he wanted to spend every last minute with Sam. With Dad. Pretend for a minute that they didn't both have one foot out the door.

Pretend that everything would be ok.

Pretend he wasn't dying inside.

Just…pretend.

That would have to be enough.


	2. Hallejuah

Next song is "Hallejuah" by Jeff Buckley, Rufus Wainwright et al.

 

_Maybe there's a God above_

_All I've ever learned from love_

_Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you_

_And it's not a cry that you hear at night_

_It's not somebody who's seen the light_

_It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

 

Castiel wasn't in the room when Dean dropped the amulet in the trash.

He was soaring over Kilimanjaro, trying to make sense of his Father's abandonment. He'd been foolish enough to think that if God met the Winchesters face to face, He would change his mind. That the boys' persuasive natures would be enough.

Instead, He'd sent them back to Earth, more disheartened then before. Castiel had seen the raw heartbreak in Dean's eyes as he returned the amulet.

It was the same heartbreak he felt inside.

His Father was supposed to be perfect. Supposed to care about humanity. And he was leaving them all here to die.

Decided he wanted to be somewhere else, he blinked his eyes and found himself soaring over a highway, a dark streak of metal below. He can feel Dean's despair radiating up to him from the Impala. Sam is calmer, but just as unhappy.

Cas settles in the backseat, doing something that he knows Dean would not appreciate.

Eavesdropping. He doesn't reveal his presence, but sits quietly and observes the Winchesters.

Sam is staring out the window, quiet and introspective. The slump of his shoulders denotes his disappointment, but Sam wasn't hopeful to begin with.

Dean is staring straight ahead. Castiel can see his eyes in the review mirror, and there are a thousand emotions in the green depths. The one Cas can see the clearest is the hurt. For all of Dean's disparaging remarks about God, there was still hope.

It's gone now, another in long line of people who abused Dean's trust. It's just one more emotional barrier being built in Dean's mind.

Dean's the one Castiel worries about. Sam can talk about his problems, lay them out, and examine them critically, then make a call on how to proceed.

Dean just takes all the hurt and shoves it further inside, tries his best to pretend it doesn't exist. If Castiel could simply lay a hand on him, and take Dean's pain away, he would.

It scares him sometimes, how much emotion he feels for Dean. His human charge snuck in under all the defenses he was supposed to have in place. That was thing about Dean. His soul was so bright, so vibrant, there was no ignoring just how special the Righteous Man really was.

And yet, he had so little faith in himself. When Dean looked in mirror, all he could see were his flaws. The places in his life where he just wasn't good enough.

Cas wished, above all things, that he could make Dean see his own worth.

Sometimes, Castiel thought, Free Will was a curse.


	3. Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You

We all know Dean loves him some Zep. So do I.The song is Led Zeppelin's "Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You".

 

_Babe...I'm gonna leave you_

_Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you_

_Oh I can hear it callin 'me_

_I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?_

 

If you ask him, he won't tell you. He'll smile at you, and those ridiculously long-lashed green eyes will sparkle.

He won't tell you though. He's not the post-coital snuggle up and tell you my whole life story kinda guy.

Nope, with his leather jacket and sexy smirk, he's exactly the kind of guy Momma warned you about.

You'll meet him in a bar; or he'll wink at you over a piece of pie in a diner, give you that killer grin, and ask when your shift's over.

The big guy with him will sigh and roll his eyes, but he doesn't say anything. You get the feeling he's used to this.

You give him your number, written on the bottom of the bill, or if you're in the bar, you just leave with him. He doesn't seem to be concerned with what the other guy will be doing. You aren't real concerned either.

And you might not know much about cars, but you can tell his is a beauty. Long, black, and sleek, it suits him.

Back at your place, or maybe in the backseat of the car, "Baby", he calls her, he surprises you.

A bad boy like him, you'd expect him to be a caveman in the sack.

He isn't though. He's sweet, and surprisingly gentle. He's caring. He takes care of you, makes sure you enjoy yourself.

Not that he doesn't talk dirty. Because he does. And it's wicked hot.

When it's over, and you're basking in the afterglow of, by far, the _best_ sex you've ever had, you'll ask him.

He won't tell you.

He plays his cards close to the vest. He doesn't tell you about himself. You know his name, you know the other guy is his brother, but that's pretty much all you get.

And you hate it, because even though you want to be the girl that keeps him, you know he'll leave. You know you'll never see him again.

He's just not the kind of guy you fall in love with.

Which sucks.

Because you're pretty sure you already have.


End file.
